Still learning to teach
12/02/16 05:09
When our children were in elementary school, I volunteered regularly in their classrooms. It gave me a way to observe my children in school, meet their peers, learn about the teaching methods used in their classrooms, and work with them to make connections between home and school. I have a passion for teaching and enjoyed working with our children’s teachers. One day as I was assisting with an art project, the regular classroom teacher stepped out of the room temporarily. This was a common occurrence. I was known to the students, understood the project at hand and could give the teacher a few minutes to gather supplies or do other functions that took her out of the classroom. I was walking down the rows of students, chatting with them about their projects. When I reached one little boy his face erupted in anger. He yelled at me, tipped over his table, picked up a chair and sung it at another student.
I had never witnessed an outburst quite like that. The only thing I could think of to do was to pick up the child so that I could keep him from hurting another child. He was obviously angry and striking at me, so I had to hold him at arm’s length to keep him from hitting my face. Not knowing what else to do, I carried him towards the doorway that led to the hall. Fortunately, for my sake, the principal was exiting her office into the hall at the same moment, heard the commotion and came to my rescue. She took the student from behind allowing me to release my grip and slowly lowered him to the floor as I backed into the classroom to assist the other children who were upset by the incident. I could tell as I returned to the room that the principal had already succeeded in calming and quieting the student, but he did not return to the classroom until my volunteer time had ended.
Later I discussed the incident with the principal who told me that during the lunch break just before the class in which I volunteered, the child’s father had taken him to lunch and delivered the news that the parents were divorcing. He then returned the child to the school. The child was angry at his father and I was the first adult male he encountered after receiving the news.
Since that experience, I have had lots of opportunities to try to figure out what is going on in the lives of the children and youth with whom I work. I remember a child who constantly disrupted every activity I tried to lead with his class in Vacation Bible School. I tried to separate him from the group, which made things worse. I tried giving him extra attention and finding special roles for him in the classroom. By the third day of Vacation Bible School, I had made lists on a sheet of paper of “things that work,” and “things that don’t work.” I didn’t achieve much success with that child during that week, but I started to pay attention to him and his interactions with others as the years progressed. By the time he was in youth group, I had learned enough to enable him to participate in the group without disruption most of the time. Both of us had matured in the process. I had gained a great deal of ability to tell what was going on with him by observing his facial expressions.
Another student who was a particular challenge to me needed to have something in his hands in order to be able to participate in group activities. I started collecting small balls of various textures and devising classroom games that involved handling the balls. I created an arts exercise involving clay. I engaged the group in making posters. I made lists of activities that would engage their minds while their hands were busy. That student helped me develop a whole new set of resources to use in working with children and youth, many of which I employ without really having to think about them.
I was thinking of those students and my experiences with them over the decades yesterday. There was a family night at the church on Wednesday. Participants made valentine cards for shut-in members of the church. After the event, Susan was getting the cards into envelopes and preparing them to be mailed. She found one that had been addressed to me and delivered it to my office.
The card opened from left to right instead of the usual way, so I had to look at what seemed like the back to find my name written in block letters. When I opened the card the inside says, “You are a good churcheer.” It was signed by a boy whom I’ve failed to get to know very well. He is often disruptive in activities, has been known to hide in the building causing his mother worries, plays inappropriately with church equipment. I’ve had to discipline him for swinging pool cues, running in the sanctuary, being a bit too loud for the present activity and a host of other infractions.
The card brought me up short. First of all it taught me something about the way the child thinks. The “backwards” card may reveal unconventional patterns and ways of thinking. Secondly, it reminded me that although my relationship with the child has been primarily about setting boundaries, I somehow am not perceived by the child as the “bad guy.” He sees me as a good part of the church community and made the effort to make a card to tell me so. The spelling and handwriting on the card lead me to believe that he was not being coached by an adult when he made it. It was a genuine gift and outreach to me.
It was a reminder that the most challenging children can be valuable members of the community and are definitely worth the effort to learn what works and what doesn’t work when engaging in learning with individual children.
Sunday is a busy day, with a lot of activities. I won’t have much time to spend with the children of the church. There is, however, one child whom I will seek out to express my gratitude for a special card that not only made my day, but also reminded me that with effort I can be a more effective teacher.
I had never witnessed an outburst quite like that. The only thing I could think of to do was to pick up the child so that I could keep him from hurting another child. He was obviously angry and striking at me, so I had to hold him at arm’s length to keep him from hitting my face. Not knowing what else to do, I carried him towards the doorway that led to the hall. Fortunately, for my sake, the principal was exiting her office into the hall at the same moment, heard the commotion and came to my rescue. She took the student from behind allowing me to release my grip and slowly lowered him to the floor as I backed into the classroom to assist the other children who were upset by the incident. I could tell as I returned to the room that the principal had already succeeded in calming and quieting the student, but he did not return to the classroom until my volunteer time had ended.
Later I discussed the incident with the principal who told me that during the lunch break just before the class in which I volunteered, the child’s father had taken him to lunch and delivered the news that the parents were divorcing. He then returned the child to the school. The child was angry at his father and I was the first adult male he encountered after receiving the news.
Since that experience, I have had lots of opportunities to try to figure out what is going on in the lives of the children and youth with whom I work. I remember a child who constantly disrupted every activity I tried to lead with his class in Vacation Bible School. I tried to separate him from the group, which made things worse. I tried giving him extra attention and finding special roles for him in the classroom. By the third day of Vacation Bible School, I had made lists on a sheet of paper of “things that work,” and “things that don’t work.” I didn’t achieve much success with that child during that week, but I started to pay attention to him and his interactions with others as the years progressed. By the time he was in youth group, I had learned enough to enable him to participate in the group without disruption most of the time. Both of us had matured in the process. I had gained a great deal of ability to tell what was going on with him by observing his facial expressions.
Another student who was a particular challenge to me needed to have something in his hands in order to be able to participate in group activities. I started collecting small balls of various textures and devising classroom games that involved handling the balls. I created an arts exercise involving clay. I engaged the group in making posters. I made lists of activities that would engage their minds while their hands were busy. That student helped me develop a whole new set of resources to use in working with children and youth, many of which I employ without really having to think about them.
I was thinking of those students and my experiences with them over the decades yesterday. There was a family night at the church on Wednesday. Participants made valentine cards for shut-in members of the church. After the event, Susan was getting the cards into envelopes and preparing them to be mailed. She found one that had been addressed to me and delivered it to my office.
The card opened from left to right instead of the usual way, so I had to look at what seemed like the back to find my name written in block letters. When I opened the card the inside says, “You are a good churcheer.” It was signed by a boy whom I’ve failed to get to know very well. He is often disruptive in activities, has been known to hide in the building causing his mother worries, plays inappropriately with church equipment. I’ve had to discipline him for swinging pool cues, running in the sanctuary, being a bit too loud for the present activity and a host of other infractions.
The card brought me up short. First of all it taught me something about the way the child thinks. The “backwards” card may reveal unconventional patterns and ways of thinking. Secondly, it reminded me that although my relationship with the child has been primarily about setting boundaries, I somehow am not perceived by the child as the “bad guy.” He sees me as a good part of the church community and made the effort to make a card to tell me so. The spelling and handwriting on the card lead me to believe that he was not being coached by an adult when he made it. It was a genuine gift and outreach to me.
It was a reminder that the most challenging children can be valuable members of the community and are definitely worth the effort to learn what works and what doesn’t work when engaging in learning with individual children.
Sunday is a busy day, with a lot of activities. I won’t have much time to spend with the children of the church. There is, however, one child whom I will seek out to express my gratitude for a special card that not only made my day, but also reminded me that with effort I can be a more effective teacher.